Friday, February 19, 2010

Deep Thoughts

What is it about people who aren't quite "all there" that is so easy to recognize? Is it the fact that these working age people are hanging out at the library during work hours? Is it the strange hat? Is it the monotone-bla-eige colored outfit? Is it those lug sole shoes that look way too big? Is it the handle bar moustache? Is it a far away look in the eyes? Is it all of those things crammed on one person? Its hard to say what "it" is that makes you sure with only one tiny glance, but whatever suspicions I had that this particular gentlemen was "off", whatever ran through my head in a fraction of a second, was confirmed when he let me hold the door open for HIM as I carried Rex in the big cumbersome infant seat on one arm, a huge bag of books in one hand, my big purse on one shoulder, had the door with one foot and was holding onto both Stella and Yates by the only free hand. Oh here, let me hold the door for you ma'am... Nope, not this guy. He just ambled on through like it was nothing. Sweet.
Would it be possible to put my kids on some sort of IV instead of feeding them 3 meals + snacks every day? I'm pretty sure it can be done. I need to look into it. Every meal at our house comes with a 100% guarantee that several messy things will splatter, fling, drip, crash, slip, sprinkle, trickle, tumble or just plain get thrown all over the floor. That does not include the things that are smushed, dripped, glopped, smeared and smudged on the faces, clothes, table and chairs. And its not just the messes, its the noise! Do you know how loud silver ware slamming on the floor over and over and over is? It makes me so crazy! I just finished a minor freak out after the 400th thing hit the floor at lunch today and accidentally said, "This is ridiculous! Ya'll are going to have to start eating outside." To which Stella replied, "Oh great! I love eating outside." Ok fine, so maybe eating outside might be a little much, but it would be better than an IV I guess. Either way. Seriously. What do I do? How about I put their meals in a blender, pour it all in a cup with a lid and duct tape the dang lid on?! I've tried, if you drop your fork, you don't get to use a fork for the rest of the meal; or if you drop your drink and the lid flies off and the dogs drink it, you don't have a drink anymore. I've also tried making them clean up the messes they make, but that isn't always an option. Like when its milk (its milk at least every other day, but then again, sometimes its 3 times a day) or when its someone's entire meal that accidentally slipped down off the table b/c an elbow was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe I could get a huge tarp and just cut 2 little head holes and 4 little arm holes in it. Its also pretty disgusting the way the dogs just hang out under the high chairs. If its so obvious to a dog that food will rain down, then there is too much food raining down!! Uuugghh...
Ahhh, nature. Well our lady squirrel is ovulating and mister squirrel got the memo loud and clear. At breakfast lady and mister squirrel ran all over the back yard, up the tree, down the tree, up on the stage, (the huge stump) down on the grass "hugging" each other over and over. Stella said, "I think the one hugging in the back is the daddy." Oh Dear Jesus! No, no, no nature! Couldn't they be normal and do that in the dark instead of all over the place, at breakfast, in front of my babies?!? I guess I should have run out there in my gown and shooed them off with a broom or something. Next time I WILL.
Anyway. Rex is big. He wants to be carried facing out all ready. He still sleeps a lot and his belly button is not 100% yet. I'm a little disturbed by the belly button. Having him reminds me of some of the little things that Stella and Yates did when they were tiny. Rex likes to hide his face when you hold him. Stella did that when she was itty bitty. It doesn't seem like he can breathe, but he will just squirm around until his face is totally under my arm. I had also forgotten what it was like to have a sleeping baby in the infant seat. Sweet baby Yates would scream from the second we put him in there, the entire time he was in the car and wouldn't stop until he was released from the torture seat. Rex is more like Stella, they are/were completely cool with the infant seat. Put 'em in there, give 'em a little jiggle and voila! Now you are free to fold clothes with two hands! Lucky!


Lane Olson said...

rex is getting so big, and also seems to look like a mix between your other babies. precious! i have often wished for the IV (even for myself...who has the energy to eat when dealing with all that mess).

Emily said...

you just totally cracked me up!!!