It just doesn't stop...

Tuesday was one of the most overwhelming days ever! I could go into painful detail, but I'll spare you. I'll just say that I was about to take SJ to the ER b/c she was freaking out, irrational, irate, hysterical, inconsolable, frantic, nutso for a good 6 hours. So, yes, Yates did smash her in the eye with a metal Eiffel Tower that caused a lot of bleeding and crying, but it was not something that should necessarily make you go completely pyscho for an entire day. Keep in mind that Yates is full blown into doing, saying, copying whatever Stella does. So all of this behavior was 2x! It was so bad, Stella refused to go into her ballet class (her Mecca). We were dressed, there, ready to go in and instead she threw herself down on the floor in a very impressive kicking, flailing, SCREAMING tantrum in front of God and everybody. We left ballet and she is going to be devastated when she doesn't get a reward from her teacher for perfect attendance.

The only way I survived was by finally strapping both of them down in their car seats and driving around crying with the windows down for a few hours. Good Lord! Michael got home from work and somehow talked SJ down from her meltdown, thank goodness.

Wednesday morning, both babies were perfect angels, excited about school and sweet as could be. They don't have any idea how close they came to being shipped off to the glue factory or wherever you send bad kids. Nevertheless, I packed their little heinie-bos up and shipped them off to Pink and Bop's house.

I will be lolling about, staring at the wall, sitting down and swinging my leg, shopping, doing whatever I want until Saturday afternoon if anyone needs me.

There must be some fabulous good times awaiting me. I have earned it!

Quick story from a better day: Stella and Yates were playing and I just happened to be hiding in the pantry eating a nutty bar. Yates with a man toy of course and SJ was drawing. She drew this fabulous fish that I was really impressed with (when I emerged from my secret snacking.) I asked her to try to write FISH while I got the camera, just to distract her from erasing the cute fish. I had absolutely no expectation of her knowing how to spell or write fish. When I came back with the camera she had actually done it. All by herself. I don't care what anyone says, thats amazing to me. I don't teach her how to spell or write. She just wants to read, write and spell so badly she is figuring it out on her own. so, proud...

mercy, mercy, me

My life is whizzing by me. Where is the slow motion button? I can't seem to get a second to catch my breath. So much has gone on since my last post and I hate it when that happens. I need to blog so I will have a record of what happened. Lord knows my memory is not doing the job.

This last week was a doozie to say the least. After an amazing girls trip to NYC with Lane and Emily I was looking forward to be home to see everyone. Michael called to let me know that Yates had a fever so I knew that I might have a sick baby waiting on me when I got home. That was only the beginning of it.

Lane, Emily and I managed to miss our flight home... the "last flight of the day out of JFK" and were told to try to get a flight in the morning. We all freaked out big time, but got our tickets changed, hustled over to LaGuardia and finally did make it home around 12:30am. We missed our collective 6 babies' bedtimes but were so relieved to have made it home at all.

Throughout that first night home, Yates did have a really high fever and was waking up and crying every hour and a half through the night. We got SJ off to school and took Y straight to the dr Monday morning. Diagnosis, strep throat, which is not common in babies his age. We got him started on an antibiotic and should have been on the road to recovery. Not so much. He had an allergic reaction to his medication that caused a terrible itchy rash all over his torso, back, face and head. I took him back in to the dr on Wednesday. Got a new antibiotic to try and the same thing happened, even worse this time. Also on Wednesday, Michael came home from work not feeling well. By the end of the day Thursday, Michael and Yates were both super sick and rashy and Michael's parents were on their way to babysit for us while we went to a wedding in Lubbock.

Friday comes and I take Michael to the dr. Oh yes, he has the swine flu. Not just the plain flu, the full out swine flu. The swine flu is typically not treated unless you are pregnant or your wife is pregnant apparently, so we are both now on swine flu medication. Those were prescriptions numbers 3 and 4 since Monday. We get M back home and sequestered, cancel all of our weekend wedding plans, call the kids' schools and take Yates in for his 3rd dr visit in a week. I have to go get him another prescription, number 5 that is. Oh wait, I forgot to mention that during all of this my prenatal vitamin was making me violently ill. I mean serious throw up about 5 minutes after taking it. And I couldn't sleep in the swine flu bed so I slept on the couch in the playroom. I am happy to have learned that at 5 am an elephant starts to trumpet in the playroom.

Now its Sunday night. Yates' medication is finally working and he had a great day today. Michael is doing much better. I'd say he's about 60%. SJ is a fortress of health and is completely healthy, thank goodness. No more prenatals for me and I get to sleep in my own bed again (after some serious sheet washing and sanitization of course), yay.

Mommies are amazing. I survived the week and my baby didn't even fall out. On we go to a healthier, happier week.

Here are Stella and Yates in their favorite outfits. "Princess" and "Man"

Quoting Stella #5

I have been compiling a list of funny things Stella has said lately. Really everything she says is funny because I wonder how so much can be going on in such a little brain. These aren't from the list, because of course I can't find it... but they're cute anyway.

At breakfast she said two funny things:

1. She had drawn a picture and I was asking her about it (because I didn't know what it was.) She said, "Its a boat with a string hanging down. Don't you wish you could draw that?" long pause "You can do it. All it takes is a little practice."

2. Again At breakfast: "Mommy, can I make lunch for you?"

"No, its breakfast time. You can make lunch at lunch time."

"But I really want to make you some lunch... Are you 'firsty'? Can I make you your favorite drink?"

"Well, I already have a coffee and a milk. I think I'll wait a little bit. Thank you though."

"Well, you just let me know if you get 'firsty' or if you need anything else, OK?"

"OK"

She made me a drink anyway... and it was good.

Later in the day she said, "Mommy, I sure do like your dress. Where did you get that?"

"Umm, thanks, I got it at Marshalls."

"Oh, Marshalls? Just like Rachel Zoe, where the girls wear those beautiful dresses and they walk like this (insert runway walk attempt here)!"

"Yep, exactly like Rachel Zoe."

Before bed one night we were reading Beauty and the Beast and Stella had some questions about Gaston. She doesn't understand dating or boyfriends, nor does she need to for another 20 years, but she really needed to figure Gaston out. She asked why Belle didn't like him and if she didn't like him b/c "he probably had a bad temperature." Then she asked if he was trying to take Belle "like to dinner and stuff." Ha! I guess she understands more than I thought...

One day in the car she announced from her car seat, "Mommy! Boogers suuuuuure do like to live in noses don't they?!?"

Eat Your Heart Out Pioneer Woman...

I know some of us have and do read The Pioneer Woman blog. It took me a while to breakdown and read something called Pioneer Woman. I wanted nothing to do with it. It sounded like quilting, canning and mom jeans to me. If you haven't read this blog, its worth a look. The author is really funny, a great photographer, cook and a total mess. She has so many fun things to see on her blog. She is also highly infatuated with her husband. She has written their personal love story and its really good too. Anyway she takes lots of pictures of him and raves about how hot she thinks he is. So here is my reply...

Yesterday my husband decided to chop a cord of wood leftover from the tree that died in our front yard. I snuck up on him and took some pictures. He thought I was taking pictures of the babies. Fair warning, there are muscles in these pictures...

And he pauses to catch babies. What a man! So to our fabulous daddy... Thank you for being my husband, our daddy, our fix it man, our provider and for making it possible for us to do all of the things we love to do... and for chopping that wood. We love you.

rainy days

Isn't this how everyone gets dressed in the morning?

Not to be outdone by sick animal stories, I have some nice, pleasant, clean baby stories. Yesterday everyone woke up so happy and was really good most of the day. Stella was full of ideas such as, "Mom, I think I need some mascara b/c my eye is itchy." and "Can you get me some jewelry to wear? I need a bunch." and "I need some red lipstick. You know like really bright shiny red like princesses wear? Could I have that please?" We were just getting ready to go to the grocery store, not the prom. Of course, I got her lots of random jewelry and off we went.

This is Stella with her jewelry and a pumpkin she needed at the grocery store. She ran all the way through the produce dept and into the meat dept with that big heavy thing.*

We ran some errands and did a weekly calendar craft. The kids thought it was fun but it was about 80% selfish on my part. I have to explain the days of the week at least once a day and felt like it would be a lot easier with a visual aide. We made stick on shapes for all of our activities and the kids did lots of coloring. We had a great time.

Bejeweled coloring.*

Today Stella had her first dentist appointment and she was amazing! She acted like she does the whole teeth cleaning thing every day. She got an "A+" from the dentist for being so good and her teeth were in perfect shape... so far. We took x-rays and will have some serious orthodontics to deal with. She was honestly better at having her teeth cleaned, flossed, poked at and x-rayed than she was at having a manicure/pedicure.

Teeth cleaning*

Yates' busted lip. He smashed his mouth on the concrete running full speed. Luckily he saw a car like my dad's drive by and he recovered immediately.*

I have a couple of other stories about Stella that I forgot to add last week. One night I was so tired, I couldn't bear the thought of reading her books and going through the whole night time rigamarole. So I caved and told her she could sleep with me if she would watch 2 of my shows with me and be quiet. (She usually complains when the tv has any sort of non-preschool oriented program on.) Anyway, I made her be quiet and watch Rachel Zoe and Design Star with me. She looooved them both. During Rachel Zoe, they aired Marc Jacobs latest fashion week runway show and she sprang up from the bed and said, "Mommy, can you rewind that? I think I saw a dress I liked. Can you make it go really slow so I can see it?" What? Of course. We discussed it and decided that she would have to tell her daddy that she found a Marc Jacobs dress that she needed. When she did relay the message to Michael she added that she also really wanted to go to a fashion show. HA!! I love it. After that show, we watched Design Star. I explained the premise to her and she asked me several questions along the way. We got to the end of the show where one contestant would be kicked off and I paused it to ask her which design was her favorite. Again, she sprang up and described one of the rooms in painstaking detail, even how the blue paint went up the wall and onto the ceiling. You've never seen a more proud, exhausted mommy of a three year old. I beam.

*Sorry about all of these pictures. They're all from my phone.

OK! Thats it...

I am about to have an animal round up over here. Anybody need a pet? If you get grossed out, just leave now. I just sat down for the first time today to breathe and check my email and I hear this 'heeek-a-heeek-a-heeek-a" coming from somewhere, WHERE? I know that sound. Its Deion throwing up and where is he!! SICK! I run to find him with a big FedEx envelope/catcher, but I'm too late.

Now, I have recovered from my children being sick with the stomach bug or whatever that was and their throw up is another story. They were sick. The are babies. I can deal with that. These animals on the other hand. No, no, no. I can deal with it, but it infuriates me.

Sasha went to Palestine with Michael and my dad and got a "stomach bug" of her own. She got home and was moping around for like 36 hours. My mother and I heard a huge bucket of water spill (we thought it was a huge bucket of water) and turned to find that Sasha had thrown up every bit of BBQ, lake water and whatever else it was the guys fed her all over one of my nice rugs. ...huge sigh... That doesn't clean up easily and that rug is still outside.

The day before yesterday I was fixing lunch for everyone and noticed something cool on the side of my foot. Oh, it was just cat throw up oozing up around the side of my sandal. I didn't see it and tromped all through it and got it all over my kitchen. I'm hungry, my babies are hungry, I've got 1/2 made lunch on the counter and throw up on my foot and all over my kitchen. ...raging... Those sandals are outside too.

This morning there was poop on the floor in Stella's room, OSCAR!! Yates saw it and started gagging of course.

A little earlier, I turned to go see what that little rock was on another rug. As I got closer I realized it was a little poop! I snatch it up, run it to the potty and go to see if Deion had pooped in his usual location, and oh yes. However, part if it was gone b/c I looked at Oscar and he had poop ON HIS NOSE!!!

Deion is having some sort of break down. He is eating the same amount of food that he used to eat in a week in one day. So of course he needs to throw up and can't wait to go outside to poop.

I am so over it. I'm about one more barf away from calling animal control. They all better straighten up or learn to speak English and explain themselves reeeaalll quick! A little phrase like, "I think I'm sick, I need a bucket." Or even "Hey slave lady, sorry I threw up on your stuff again." Either of those would work.

If no one ever wants to come to my land mined house again, I understand. I don't want to be here either...

MUG SHOTS

This is Sasha's innocent face. Right. I'm not falling for it.

Deion looks guilty. I think he's mad about us getting Oscar and he's doing all of this on purpose.

There are cute pictures of Oscar, but if you poop on the floor and eat poop your cute picture privileges are revoked. His hair is a disaster b/c Yates got ice cream on him last night and it dried and got crunchy.

Stella's 1st Day, My Man and Fashion Critics

First of all, Yates has decided that he is a man. He's not a boy, he's not a baby, he's not a guy, he's not a girl, he's not a lady. I asked him, just to be sure. He is a man! I don't really know where he came up with that, but he does like to point at people and assign categories to them from the list preceding. I also don't know what qualifies you to be a member of one group or another, but in case you're curious... I am a lady, Daddy is a man and Stella is a girl. With us categorized correctly, I kinda think he knows what he's talking about and he just fits into the man category in his mind. Simple as that.

Stella Jane had her first day of school today at Good Shepherd. She was so excited to go and it was such a surprisingly pleasant morning. No one freaked out. Everyone did exactly as they were supposed to do. It was amazing. We got dressed, had breakfast, got our hair fixed, our shoes on, all of our gear and in the car without a single tear. But wait, Yates pooped his diaper between the back door and the car. Thats about 5 steps. I wasn't going to backtrack, so I just changed it in the car. We took Stella to her classroom door and off she went. I had to call her back to tell me good-bye. The best news of the day is that she doesn't have to take a nap at school, but is allowed to go into the next older classroom during naptime to learn with the older kids. I am ecstatic!!! She is always the oldest in her class and is trying to read and write for goodness sakes. Please let the girl learn. She can nap at home. No more wagging that napmat to school either. YAY!

Yates and I did Little Gym this morning and then came home to slave over the laundry. We honestly did laundry the entire time Stella was at school. And guess what my "man" did while I was ironing... He went in my closet and came back with my leopard high heels. He took my oh-so-chic flip flops off of me and put the leopard high heels on in their place. He went back to my closet, but my flip flops away perfectly aligned on the shelf right where the flip flops go and came back with some sunglasses that he instructed me to put on. He stepped back, smiled a huge smile approving of his improvement of me and said, "CUTE!" HA! Thanks... I was happy to oblige by ironing in the high heels for a bit, but after a while I asked him if I could please take them off. "Nope, Can't" was the answer I got.

When we went back to school to get Stella, she ran up to me so happily then stopped looked at me with a confused look and adjusted my hat. It obviously wasn't positioned correctly. Good Lord. Maybe they'll just start dressing me.

Oh I almost forgot the "crap." So Stella has been saying "crap." Sometimes she mispronounces things so I try not to make a big deal out of it when it happens and just repeat the word correctly. So I haven't been sure if she is meaning crap or meaning something else. The first incident happened when she had unrolled this huge roll of smiley face stickers that was so long it wrapped around the entire living room. She thought it was so fun and she happily said, "Mommy look at all this crap!" Completely shocked, I was just like, "Oh yeah, look at that." I spent the rest of the day wondering... "Did she just say crap?" Then this morning I was washing her face for school and we got to the eyes. She said, "Sometimes I have this stuff in the crap of my eyes." OK, that time she meant crack, sleep in the crack of her eyes. OK. No big deal. Then when we got home from school today she was telling me that she wanted to show daddy all of the " beautiful craps she made at school today." Now that one was supposed to be crafts. I still am not sure if she actually does mean crap sometimes. I sure hope not, I mean crap, eww. We don't say that, do we?

Yates' 1st Day and Girl Day

Wednesday was my baby's first day of "school." Waaahhh. He had been to see his class room and meet his teachers already so I was hoping the big day wouldn't be too traumatic. We got all dressed and packed without any major drama. Well except that he came down with a cold the day before precipitating a rush visit to the doctor to make sure he could attend. I hate to be the mom with the sick kid on day one, but c'mon. I reeeaaallly wanted him to go. We did go to the doctor and he was cleared for school. Huge relief. He did have a runny nose, but was safe to play with other kids. The puppies rode with us to see Yates off. I don't think he really realized where he was going so he didn't know that its customary to freak out. Yates immediately found the and trains and started to play. He was having a good time until he saw me dangerously close to the door. I had to tell him bye quickly and slip out. Then he really did cry. He stopped by the time I got 1/2 way down the hall.

Here is Yates ready to go!

I stressed about his first day outfit for weeks and settled on this. I wanted him to wear a jon jon, but he usually throws a fit when I put him in them. His little shorts are Armani pinstriped suit shorts. I couldn't help it. A little much for a first day of Parents Day Out, but heaven forbid my baby Yates wear something embarrassing. He will ease into his Target ensembles slowly.

I had completely forgotten about Yates needing mosquito protection during outdoor playtime until I had already dropped him off, but rushed to CVS and got him some OFF wipes. The office has to have a parent note and keep bug repellent in the office like its an epi pen or something. Whatever. As long as he doesn't get eaten alive at school, I don't care where they keep the stuff.

As soon as we got Yates all situated at school Stella and I were off for our much anticipated "Girl Day." We had been talking about it for days and I told her she could do anything she wanted to do on our special girl day. She thoughtfully (nerd-ily) chose to go the library and do her USA puzzle. I added lunch, ice cream and her first mani/pedi. Its is ridiculously early to start mani/pedis but Michael suggested it. This is not a start to that, only a special occasion. First we went to the library and Stella "looooved it." She got her own library card and signed her name on the back of it. Too cute! She chose 5 books. One about architecture and one about Matisse and Picasso. I was so proud and I swear I didn't have a thing to do with it. She did it 100% on her own. Then we went for our mani/pedis. She insisted that she sit in my lap the whole time and we had 3 girls working on us.

She touched her eye with a wet fingernail, so Van got it off for her. After that we went to lunch at MiCocina (her choice) and then to I Heart Yogurt. After all of that fun it was time to go get brother.

We ran home and picked the puppies back up to ride with us to get brother. (We also needed to check on the builder and the cleaning service that destroyed much of our new home on their first visit.) Anyway, Yates was crying when I got there and his teachers said he had been crying "off and on most of the day." Oops. Forgot to mention that he does that sometimes. I think he had an OK day and we're ready for our second day next Wednesday.

Yatesie-Poo Tidbits

I let Yates pick out a pair of shoes at Target...

Yates is working hard gearing up to be the big brother. He has been so funny lately.

• Yesterday while I was changing his diaper he said, "Pee yeww, stink!" He is very sensitive to smells and loves to tell me when something stinks. TMI, but he actually gagged at a toot a few days ago. I thought he was really going to lose it. Of course I got tickled and almost fell over from my precarious squatting-while-holding-one-baby-and-helping-another-on-the-potty position.

Our black haired baby Yates

• Later on yesterday we heard Stella coming downstairs from her nap and I said, "Here comes Stella." He looked at me and smiled and said, "Bean."
• After that I was asking him if he wanted to show daddy his new digger toy and he said, "Daddy work, daddy home." I understood that to mean, "I can't tell Daddy because he's at work. I'll tell him when he gets home."
• Today we went to his PDO orientation and he seemed to like the classroom and teachers fine. (He's pretty cautious and doesn't get overly excited without a really good reason.) While we were there he got tired and wanted me to hold him, so he grabbed my hand to pull me down closer to him and climbed up on me in the holding position, like how many times to have to ask, mother!
• He is currently obsessed with Jeeps. The boy can spot a jeep going 80mph on the opposite side of the tollway. I never noticed the Jeep population before, but now we have to announce every single one we see. Its pretty cute. He'll see one and smirk like "yeah, cool."
• 
  Yates helped me make brownies...
  
  
• Yates loves lemonaide. He calls it la-lane and cried for it all the way home from "school" today. So random to me.
• The worst thing about Yates is the way the mosquitos love him. He honestly can't be outside for more than 5 seconds without being attacked by a swarm. I feel so bad for him. I keep him covered in OFF and cortizone itch cream and he is constantly telling me that he is itchy. Poor baby.

End of summer...

How to Occupy Yates at the Beach

"See that bird?"

"Go hit it with your hoe."

"OK. I believe I will."

Phase 1

We all just got home from a long vacation. Part of the vacation was intentional, the second part was not. We all went to Laguna Beach with Michael's family and had a great time. Stella Jane looooooved the beach and sand, maybe a little more than necessary. I had never seen anyone get so much sand caked on themselves.

Yates tolerated the beach and sand. This was his first trip to the beach and he really didn't love it. He did a little better each day but would prefer a nice clean swimming pool. We kept a bucket of beach water for him to wash his hands in and he really liked that idea.

There was this great little section of beach that was secluded, much calmer and had an old concrete sea water "swimming pool" that was built ages ago. It had a teeny bit of water in it most of the day and both babies loved it over there. I think that little area really helped Yates be ok with the whole beach thing.

The Grabhams rented a wonderful house with plenty of room for us all, amazing views and it was right at the beach access stairs. We loved watching all of the people and puppies come and go. While we were there we got to meet our new niece Baby Charlie (Cha-Cha) who is such a sweet little doll. Stella and Yates loved her to pieces; a huge relief with a baby of our own on the way. We also celebrated Anne's 30th birthday. For some reason S and Y were pretty terrible at every single meal we had so the birthday dinner was a struggle but it was still fun.

We got to do lots of fun things like ride the trolley, eat lots of ice cream, shop for art, eat great food and be with family. It was a really fun trip and I wish we could have stayed for ever. That weather is amazing!!!

We discussed staying longer over and over but finally decided to head home. I decided that I would rather have Michael's help on the flight home. (The trip there was a sweaty exercise in remaining calm and being a pack mule.) Yates had gotten some sort of rash across both cheeks that was worsening each day and I was starting to worry about it. Yes, me, worry. It looked pretty bad. We also were fairly confident that it would be safe to return home to the freshly repainted house, given the fact that the builder and painter had a very clear deadline.

WEEEELL, we made it home, super late to a full blown construction site! They had moved all of our furniture, unpacked the entire kitchen and removed every single drawer and cabinet door. There was plastic and paper covered in wet paint all over the floor and the fumes were toxic. There is absolutely no way 2 toddlers, a dog and a pregnant person could stay in that mess for any length of time at all. So, we immediately got right back in the car at 11:30 pm and headed to Palestine, leaving our poor daddy to work and live in toxic filth.

Phase 2

We got to Palestine and just relaxed and played in the pool. My aunt Lia and her two daughters came over to bring some poodle puppies for my mom to look at. You know what happened... We ended up with a puppy, which we needed like a hole in the head! Its going to be fine though. He is very, very good. The day the puppies came, Bop brought Stella and Yates a wounded butterfly. Thats what they're sharing in the picture below. SJ named it Butter and loved it to death... really. When the puppy came, SJ named him Butter too. We have since changed his name to Oscar... Oscar Butter Grabham.

After the puppy adoption, Michael came to Palestine stay with us for the weekend and we got to have a secret sonogram. My dad has a friend that does sonograms at the hospital and he let us in on Saturday for a sneak peak at the baby. Michael was going to be in Seattle for the sonogram that would tell us the sex of the baby, so this was a huge deal. Anyway, we found out, very clearly its a boy! Yay! What a huge relief. Yates and little RHG will have super close birthdays and will be able to grow up doing their dude things together. We are very excited.

Phase 3

We return home to the freak show we call home. Poor Michael had done lots of clean up and put back while we were in Palestine, but still! Ridiculous! The retards should have just finished when they were supposed to and here's another idea: how about clean up after yourselves! Paalease! What a mess. Like thats what you want to come home to after being gone for 2 1/2 weeks and toting that much dirty luggage. And where did all of the toilet paper go? I had the huge Costco supply before we left and I get back to 4 rolls. SICK!!! Go to 7 11! This is not a public facility! (I had a big huge list of the junk that was messed up, but I removed it b/c I am turning a new leaf... the fake nice leaf... : ) See. )

Swim Day with Mommy